May 09, 2008

Now It's Rocky Friday ...


Thank you to everyone who wrote expressing concern about poor GB, who swallowed two large rocks last weekend and had emergency surgery on Monday to remove the larger one. (He threw up the 2-inch rock on my bedroom floor Sunday night.)

GB developed pneumonia from aspirating fluid into his lungs, and his esophagus is also damaged by the rocks and the attempts to get rid of them, so he is still at the vet. His doctor has treated him with cortisone and also antibiotics.

At first, we thought he would be home in a day or two, so when the vet said, "You can visit him," I said no, because I thought GB would think I was there to take him home and it would be tougher for him to have to stay.

But after three days of phone reports, I couldn't stand it, so I stopped by to see him yesterday.

They had him in a run, with blankets on the floor, and an IV in his right front leg for fluids. He hadn't been eating, but they gave him 2 tablespoons of food yesterday and he kept that down. I think that was the first food he'd had since this whole drama began on Sunday.

So I went into his run with him and sat down on the floor to cuddle him, and the pooch, all 70 pounds of him, crawled on my lap. He needed a hug. So I sat there stroking him as he wheezed and heaved, just kind of spasms at this point.

Talked to his vet, and asked the Big Question, "So, he will get better, right?" To be told, "Well, pneumonia is pretty serious."

Came home and hung out with Constant (Connie), my dog, for the rest of the day. Connie is not quite sure what is going on, he seems to be missing GB, and I can't explain it to him, obviously.

Here's a link to a post that a reader sent. It falls into several categories: humor, skin cancer, and also "dogs who eat things they shouldn't":

Her tombstone will read WAS SOLD TO BUTCHER

See also:

Rocky Monday ...

But WHY Do Dogs Eat Rocks?

@ Jeanne Sather 2008.

May 08, 2008

Having a Friend With Cancer Is Good for Your Health?

Younger Son sent me the link to this story on The Onion, hoping to cheer me up. He wrote:

Hello-- I'm not sure black humor would be the best, but here's something that might lighten the mood.

Actually, he knows me pretty well. I think it's really funny, but--a warning: you may not.

The piece says, tongue in cheek, that 85 percent of people who know someone with cancer take up marathon running and other sports ... "The U.S. Surgeon General is now recommending that all Americans get close to a cancer patient," the voice-over says.

Watch it: The Onion: A Friend's Cancer, Good for Your Health?

That's a video piece. I also loved the print story The Onion did about the Race for the Cure.

6,000 Runners Fail To Discover Cure For Breast Cancer

@ Jeanne Sather 2008.

January 07, 2008

The Chemo Diet

I just came home from the grocery store, where it seemed that the cover of every magazine I saw featured a weight-loss story:

Movie star diets. Who's fat and who's thin. How to lose 20 lbs. by Valentine's Day. You know the drill...

It's pretty clear that magazine editors think that we are all obsessed with losing weight in the new year. They are probably right, of course, given that something like half the adult U.S. population is overweight or obese (including me, overweight but not obese).

Since I've lost a good 10 lbs. since I started on the Tykerb in late November, I can't help but propose:

The Miracle Chemo Diet

Lose 10 lbs. in one month, or your money back!

No hunger pains! (You will have no appetite at all, and will have to remind yourself to eat.)

Amaze your friends!

Guaranteed weight loss!

Be thin in time for swim suit season!

Perfect for bulimics!**


**Very fine print: You may be throwing up on a daily basis.

@ Jeanne Sather 2008.

December 26, 2007

Benign Girl Lives!

OK, so this is cancer-related silliness, but I think we're entitled. We have to get some humor out of our situation, and Benign Girl, a Chinese Barbie-doll knock-off, so perfectly fills the bill.

When you have a tumor, which in and of itself is not cancer, the big question is whether or not the tumor is cancerous (bad) or benign (good).

Most of the people who read my blog have been in cancer territory for some time, and for one person, at least, they were ALWAYS there.

I think I started paying special attention to the comments and posts of my friend and fellow cancer blogger, Amorette, when she drew my attention to the existence of Benign Girl, and then again when she commented that she had never had a chance to be Benign Girl. Because of some nasty industrial polluting by Dupont, Amorette has had cancer since before she was born.

Her mother also has had some five or six DIFFERENT CANCERS.

These simple facts boggle my mind. At the same time, I can't help being fascinated by Amorette, and how she has managed to fashion an interesting life for herself despite numerous deep disappointments (having to drop out of medical school, for one). Amorette is the bento artist I've mentioned before.

A bento is a Japanese box lunch, always a work of art, but Amorette's go way beyond the bento you can find in any Japanese train station or department store basement (the food is always in the basement). Since I've spent something like seven-plus years of my life in Japan, and Amorette has a life-long fascination with Japan, that was a bond as well.

Yet another side note: I'm planning to spend at least three weeks in Japan next October, the treatment gods willing, as part of my efforts to Boycott October. Amorette is hoping to join me for part of that trip. I'm going to create a new category on my blog dedicated to the trip soon, because if it is going to happen, I need to start planning.

Back to Benign Girl
So, Benign Girl.

Amorette told me months ago that she had seen these dolls at a swap meet or dollar store, I forget which. Then, when she wanted to actually buy some, they proved elusive. We had to satisfy ourselves by making our own and with the purchase of Benign Girl accessories, such as toy phones.

Then, finally, just a few days before Christmas, a huge, pink (but that's another story--Amorette, do you want to tell it?) box arrived on my front porch. Inside was Benign Girl. Success! Thanks, Amorette.

She looks very much like the original Barbie doll, made by Mattel, but slightly out of focus. Maybe they (the folks at the Chinese factory) made a mold from a real Barbie, and this is the result. Or maybe Benign Girl is made at the same Chinese factory where the "real" Barbies are made, using the same molds, after hours, and then shipped out the back door, out of sight of the folks from Mattel.

I understand this happens with knock-off shoes and other manufactured goods, so it's not so farfetched. The Nikes go out the front door, the Nike knock-offs go out the back, both made by the same workers using the same (or cheaper) materials and machines.

Anyway, Benign Girl.

I also love the thought that this doll was named by some Chinese factory manager, possibly dressed in a Mao suit (although I understand the Chinese no longer wear Mao pajamas, as the Western press used to call them, as they go about their daily lives) ... Anyway, dressed in a Mao suit, flipping through his Chinese-English dictionary, looking for the right word.

And he came up with "benign." He must have wanted something like "sweet." Or "innocent." But the dictionary spit out "benign." Any Chinese speakers out there who have an idea of what the original Chinese word might have been? Or the characters?

And then I love the slightly wonky English on the box: "Best Gift for Children." "Battery Operated. Creative. Various Music." Note the complete lack of any articles, definite (the) or indefinite (a, an).

As a long-time Japanese-to-English translator, I can attest to the difficulty of making translated material sound natural in English. And who's going to make all that much effort for a doll? These are actually pretty good, except for the howler of naming her Benign Girl, which is what started this whole silliness in the first place.

Read more:

Prostate Cancer Ken and Breast Cancer Barbie: The Happy Couple, Together at Last

Amorette's blog

(Go to her blog; she's having way too much fun playing with chocolate over there. Of course, it's chocolate with a political message, which makes it OK, right? This is truly a food artist we have here.)

And I need to rejoin the real world, at least for the rest of the day.

Support this blog:


@ Jeanne Sather 2007.

December 11, 2007

Booby Prizes

From now on, all runners up in our contest An All-Time Low: For Rudeness and Insensitivity will receive a Booby Prize.

Thanks to Amorette, who found these at a flea market, and actually had the nerve to buy one. They are actually "stress balls," you know, the ones you squeeze to build your grip strength and reduce stress.

Any woman within range who sees a guy squeezing one of these is not going to have HER stress reduced, of course.

All contest runners up will receive a real Booby Prize if we have an address for them, or if we know them and can just hand it over in person. Otherwise, we'll send the prize via e-mail, and they'll just get the digital image.

The winner of the All-Time Low Contest gets an even better prize.



Keep those entries coming!

Read more:


Woolly breasts appeal goes global
(Love that headline!)

@ Jeanne Sather 2007.

November 25, 2007

Surviving the Holidays: A Lego Christmas Story

Sara sent me the link to The Brick Testament, an illustrated version of the Bible, made entirely of Legos.

Now, we've played with a lot of Legos around our house (two sons who progressed from Duplos to Legos by about age 5), and it wasn't all that long ago that Younger Son built a Star Wars vehicle (the Millenium Falcon, I believe it was) out of Legos, but I had never seen this.

(When queried, Younger Son acknowledged that he'd seen it, "of course." His favorite section is The Law, in the Old Testament.)

My first thought is, of course, that someone had WAY too much time on his hands.

My second thought is, read this with a kid at Christmas. I don't think you have to be religious to appreciate the Birth of Jesus in Legos. In fact, perhaps it's better if you're not religious.

Rev. Shawn? Are you reading this? Could we have a professional opinion, please?

Read: Jesus Is Born


@ Jeanne Sather 2007.

November 20, 2007

Surviving the Holidays: Black Humor

A warning: This section is not PC. If you don't like black humor, turn the page.

However, I feel that there is a place for black humor in coping with difficult situations, such as having cancer at Christmas time.

So, here's the first contribution, from me:

Q: What do you give a person with cancer for Christmas?

A: Something that can be consumed in a short period of time, like cookies or a jar of jam. No lifetime memberships to anything.

Send me your holiday black humor, either in an e-mail (jeanne.sather@gmail.com) or as a comment at the bottom of this post.

Not-So-Black Humor
Last Christmas, Amy also gave her husband, who has lymphoma, a T-shirt that said, "I'm a lymphomaniac."

I don't know where she found it, or if she had it made, but I think that's pretty funny.

Read more about Amy:

Surviving the Holidays: Holiday Tales I

Read more about gift giving:

Surviving the Holidays: Christmas Shopping

@ Jeanne Sather 2007.

November 05, 2007

Meet the Breast Cancer Barbie Family!

Meet the members of the Breast Cancer Barbie Family:

Breast Cancer Barbie (issued by Mattel, 2006)
Every single thing that Breast Cancer Barbie wears is pale pink: gloves, gown, spangled stole, lipstick, and the tiny pink ribbon stitched to her left shoulder. The shawl wraps across her shoulders and crosses behind her back, just like the pink ribbon symbol of breast cancer awareness. The box, of course, is pink.


Prostate Cancer Ken (created by Jeanne, 2007)

I decided to make Prostate Cancer Ken because I was so pissed off last year when Mattel came out with the pink ribbon Barbie doll, the doll I call Breast Cancer Barbie.

I thought if I did a gender-reversal people would better be able to see how stupid this Barbie doll is, and how offensive it is to a woman like me.


Benign Girl, Breast Cancer Barbie's Little Sister (created by Jeanne, 2007)
Benign Girl, a Chinese Barbie knock-off, does exist.

But until I can find one, I’ve found my own Benign Girl at a second-hand store in Vancouver, B.C. Paid $2 for the little darling and she is going to join my “Wall of Shame” as Breast Cancer Barbie’s little sister.

Breast Cancer Joe (coming in October, 2008)

Support this blog:


@ Jeanne Sather 2007.

October 31, 2007

How LOW Will Komen GO?: The Winners

Choosing the winners in our month-long competition to find the tackiest, most trivial, most offensive pink ribbon products endorsed by the Komen Foundation wasn't easy. As readers of this blog know only too well, during October we cancer survivors have had to run the gauntlet of tacky pink crap whenever we ventured into a retail establishment. (One easy answer: Stay home. Vote with your wallet.)

However, allowing for personal biases on the part of the judge (me), some clear winners did emerge. And they are:


Grand Prize: to the blogger Dubutaunt, for her entry: Jingle Jugs for Life

Jingle Jugs sells life-size boobs, or "racks," that bounce in time to the song "Titties and Beer." Its market? Frat boys.

From the Jingle Jugs Web site: “Our newest version of Jingle Jugs comes with a pre-recorded breast cancer message. A second re-recordable chip allows the user to record a message of his or her own choice, such as a favorite song, your favorite team's fight song, a romantic message, a political commentary . . . all to which the Jugs will dance and move in synch.”

Debutaunt’s comment, in a letter to Komen: “... Honestly, I can't see in any good conscience how you can justify accepting money from this vulgar company. They sell a product that is so putrid and heinous, but are justifying it since they donate a ‘percentage’ to breast cancer organizations -- then show proudly their giant check to Komen.”

See Breast Cancer Jingle Jugs

First Prize: to a Canadian reader named Nancy for: Pink Wedding Gowns for the Cure

This entry was an editorial feature in “Brides” magazine. ABC News had this quote:

"With this gown sale, we hope to harness the power of the wedding dress — an icon viewed around the world as a symbol of hope for the future — to impact the lives of seriously ill women in a positive way," said Millie Martini Bratten, editor in chief of “Brides.”

Watch the ABC News clip

Judge’s Choice Award: To the Mars/M&Ms Company for: Pink M&Ms

I have been boycotting M&Ms and all Mars candy products for more than a year, because I think the pink M&Ms trivialize a very serious disease.

This year, I turned the pink M&MS into a mosaic titled, “What I See in the Mirror Every Morning (And It Ain't Pretty).”

Support this blog:

@ Jeanne Sather 2007.

October 29, 2007

Meet Benign Girl

Benign Girl, a Chinese Barbie knock-off, does exist.

I’ve heard from two blogging friends who have spotted her, either in dollar stores or flea markets. (Amorette sent me the photo at right.)

If you do see one, please buy it for me and I will reimburse you.

But in the meantime, I’ve found my own Benign Girl at a second-hand store in Vancouver, B.C. Paid $2 for the little darling and she is going to join my “Wall of Shame” as Breast Cancer Barbie’s little sister.

You can see from the photo how much Benign Girl resembles me as a child—the photo in the background is me at age 6—the same freckles across the nose, the same red-brown hair with thick bangs, the same chubby cheeks.

I haven’t played with dolls for decades, but I’m going to enjoy dressing this one.

The other night I gave Benign Girl a bath and washed her hair. Dried it with the hair dryer that I no longer need. Then I knit her a little white hat and a dress.

The Benign Girl Story
Benign Girl tries to live lightly on the earth. She doesn’t buy things she doesn’t need, and doesn’t buy products that come with packaging that can’t be reused or recycled.

Diet and Exercise
Benign Girl only drinks milk that is hormone- and antibiotic-free. Ditto for other dairy products.

She eats as low on the food chain as she can, meaning no meat or fish, lots of fresh produce and whole grains, and healthy proteins like soy and (hormone-free) eggs. She grows her own fruits and vegetables and buys locally grown produce.

Benign Girl exercises for an hour a day, rain or shine. She knows being overweight increases her chances of getting breast cancer.

Cancer
Benign Girl hates pink ribbon cause marketing. She thinks it exploits women with breast cancer. She wears a Boycott October button, even though she can hardly carry it.

When Benign Girl gets a little older, about 20, she will talk to her doctor about being tested for the genes that cause breast cancer to run in some families. But she knows most women who get breast cancer do not have one of these genes.



Benign Girl has joined the Sister Study.

Benign Girl loves her big sister, Breast Cancer Barbie, but she doesn’t want to grow up to be like her.

Join the Sister Study

Meet Breast Cancer Barbie

Meet Prostate Cancer Ken


Support this blog:

@ Jeanne Sather 2007.

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