It is my job as her only son
to take care of her,
so I refuse to let them give her pain meds.
If anything has a narcotic, I forbid it.
They try and fool me with fancy Latin
words or generic names
but I know how to ferret out
what's really in the drugs things like opium,
morphine and oxycodone.
They try to convince me she is dying.
I know that. A fool could see that.
They argue that she is in pain
but her silence belies their claims.
"See how still she is?" I say,
"Not a moan or a cry out of her."
But I know she hurts. I know it in the beads
of cold sweat under her lip
and in her fluttering heart.
It is my job
to protect her soul, to clean away
all the years of spite and neglect
to burn her pure.
--Amy Haddad
Amy Haddad is Creighton University's director of the Center for Health Policy and Ethics, a cancer survivor, and a published poet. She was a member of a panel presentation October 27 in Omaha, Nebraska, on writing about cancer. @ Amy Haddad 2009.
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