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August 29, 2008

A Party for Obama

My friend Laurie hosted an Obama Party last night--we grilled our burgers of choice (tofu, salmon, vegi--me--or beef) on the outdoor grill, and then gathered 'round the TV to watch Obama's speech.

It will come as no surprise to my readers that he is my choice for president--how could there be any doubt? But I hadn't realized that his mother had died of cancer. In his speech, Obama mentioned watching his mother hassle with health insurance while she was sick.

So this is one candidate who gets it.

I haven't been very political during the past decade, with the exception of cancer issues, and before that I was a journalist and wasn't allowed to take part in political activities of any kind, so it's been awhile. But if there ever was a time for people like me to take to the streets, this is it.

Watching Obama last night, it was hard to imagine that he wouldn't win. Guess I'll watch his opponent next week and see what he has to say: Know your enemies. Who said that? Sun Tzu? Can't remember.

'Dream' Anniversary
I didn't realize until yesterday--well, last night, really--that the Democrats had scheduled Obama's acceptance speech for the anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech in Washington, D.C.

To have Obama, a black man, making his speech on that day could have been hokey--but it wasn't. It was surprisingly moving.

A friend of mine, Beryl, had a birthday yesterday. She sent out an e-mail to her friends that said that she had been in Washington to see King give that speech, and she included the text in her e-mail and asked her friends to read the speech out loud as a birthday gift to her.

Happy Birthday, Beryl.

@ Jeanne Sather 2008.

August 28, 2008

Update on Citibank

This is an apology to the folks who wrote to me after having home equity lines of credit cancelled by Citibank or another bank.

When my HELOC was canceled, I planned to bring a class-action suit against Citibank, and I said that on my blog. Then, when my loan was reinstated, I had no grounds to bring the suit, so I never met with the class-action attorney.

I'll try to e-mail the folks who got in touch with me individually, but in case I miss anyone, I wanted to post this update. I think a class-action suit is a good idea, I just won't be the person carrying the flag.

For more, go to this link and scroll down:

Citibank


@ Jeanne Sather 2008.

Gifts in the Mail




The most incredible gift just arrived from Teri, the Cheeky Librarian, who came to Seattle in July for the Cancer Bloggers Reunion.

It is a spiral-bound book of photos that Teri took while she was here, complete with text.

The cover is a shot taken in my front garden of blueberries, lots of greenery, and a tin candle holder. It captures the spirit of my cancer garden perfectly.

Inside are more shots of my garden, plus Pioneer Square, restaurants (me eating!), friends who came to help out during the reunion by cooking meals, and some really cute photos taken at Seattle Center with Deanna and her son Eddie, including Eddie and me on the bumper cars--my favorite amusement park ride.

Thanks, Teri, for this fantastic gift.


Another Gift
Another gift arrived during the Cancer Bloggers Reunion--a bouquet made of cut fruit, some of it dipped in chocolate. I had never seen such a thing. (It didn't arrive in the mail, of course, a delivery person brought it.)

It arrived with a card, but no signature, and I was trying to figure out who sent it, and asking everyone, but didn't figure it out.

Then a couple of weeks later, Jessica, one of my oldest readers, e-mailed to ask if I had ever received it. She hadn't meant to send it without a card, so when she didn't get a thank you from me she figured it had gone astray.

Thank you, Jessica. The bloggers made pretty good inroads into it, and then my two sons finished off the rest. It was a hit.

@ Jeanne Sather 2008.

August 26, 2008

HIPAA, Shmippa ...

If you're like me, you didn't know what the term HIPAA (pronounced "hip-a") meant until you had cancer.

The first few times medical people used the word HIPAA in conversation with me, they used it as an excuse to say no to something I was asking them to do. As in:

"Oh, we can't give you those records. It would be a HIPPA violation."

Or:

"We can't discuss your mother's cancer on the phone without a signed release--that would be a HIPAA violation."

Or:

"No, you can't e-mail your doctor. That would be a HIPAA violation."

The woman who handled my medical bills for several years, Kelly, needed a signed release from me for each health-care provider and insurance company before they would talk to her about my medical bills. And, of course, they needed a new one every calendar year. This meant a lot more work and hassle for Kelly and for me, of course.

So for a long time I figured that HIPAA was something hospitals and medical centers dreamed up to help them give patients the run-around.

Whose Privacy?
You may still not know what HIPAA means--and that's OK--but you probably have figured out that it has something to do with patient privacy. Your cancer center probably has notices on the wall about how hard the staff is working to protect your privacy.

But meanwhile, all sorts of privacy violations are happening right, left, and center.

I once had a social worker (at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance) notice me when she got in an elevator at SCCA and say, "Oh, Jeanne, your cancer is stage IV, right?"--in front of a whole elevator-full of folks.

Earlier, she and I had had a couple of conversations about financial assistance, and when she saw me in the elevator, she just blurted this out. A HIPPA violation? You bet.

Did I report her? Nah.

I had a much more serious HIPAA violation happen at SCCA several years ago, and I DID report that one, and took it all the way to the Office of Civil Rights, which oversees HIPAA, only to have them soft-ball their findings. So I don't have a lot of faith in HIPAA.

My point here is just to document HIPAA violations as they occur--as a way of holding cancer centers accountable.

Security at the Fax Machine
Here's another one, also from SCCA.

A couple of years ago, an oncologist whom I saw briefly after Dr. Livingston left SCCA for Tucson decided that I should see a shrink. After my appointment, he faxed his report--which said I was just fine, thank you very much--over to my regular therapist, and ... wait for it ...

Along with my report, my therapist received a psychological evaluation of ANOTHER PATIENT.

Unbelievable.

Whoever faxed the report faxed this other patient's report along with mine. We considered reporting it, but in the end my therapist just tore it up and threw it away.

Whose Got My Records?
Still at the fax machine, Teri, the Cheeky Librarian, mentioned in an e-mail this morning that a copy of her records had been faxed to the wrong doctor, a former primary-care doctor of hers, I believe.

She asked her doctor why her records were sent to this doctor, and says of his reply: "He hasn't a clue. So much for HIPAA, and medical records confidentiality."

My all-time favorite HIPAA violation is this simple one, also from SCCA (this one has been fixed, by the way):

Patients pay to park at SCCA, but if you have a sticker, you pay a reduced rate. In order to get a parking sticker, however, you had to sign your name on a clipboard that was lying on the front reception counter at the cancer center.

So anyone else who came in and wanted parking validation--or who just happened to stop at the front desk--could see who else had been there that day and could assume that anyone whose name was on the page was being treated for cancer.

HIPPA violation? Oh yeah.

(By the way, I used to sign "Bill Clinton." No one ever noticed.)

Read more:

HIPAA Violations at Swedish

E-Mail Your Doctor?


@ Jeanne Sather 2008.


August 25, 2008

No Pain Today


One of the interesting things about blogging about my life with cancer is that I have a day-by-day record of that life. OK, so you might say this is waaay too much navel-gazing, but it works for me.

One thing I realized today, as I was catching up with e-mail and putting up a couple of posts, is that I haven't written about pain since last November, when I was in a lot of pain from a couple of broken bones.

See: Broken Bones

Of course, the reason I haven't written about pain for so long is that I haven't been in pain for months. Probably something like six months. And no more pain meds, which I really hated.

See: When the Pain Meds Are (Almost) Worse Than the Pain

So I'm taking a short time-out here to just feel grateful for how well I feel, and for the fact that I am pain-free. The rain has stopped, and I think I'll go out and check on my garden.

But here's a last word on pain:

Questions I Hate: Pain


@ Jeanne Sather 2008.

More "My Doctor Doesn't Like Me!"

Readers posted lots of comments to "My Doctor Doesn't Like Me!"--What to Do?.

I liked Amorette's comment:

"For me, the course of action depends on the specialty, how much I need them, and how often I have to deal with them. ...

"The only reason I chose to stay was that it was relatively unimportant. If you don't have a good rapport with the doctor who's supposed to be very involved with the hard work to save your life, move on ASAP. If they don't act concerned, if they don't find you interesting, it's a key indicator that they're not going to try. And you need as many people trying as you can."

And MaryM added, "Sometimes I think feeling disliked is a mis-match between treatment styles," which I think is a very good point.

Brooke made my point better than I had made it myself when she wrote:

"I think it is utterly important for your caregivers to like you and for you to like them. They are treating those of us with severe, life-threatening illnesses, in some of our most vulnerable moments and that trust needs to be there. They need to like you and if they don't then, if its possible a new doctor needs to be found. and, imho--we need to find the courage to ask that question [Do you like me?]."

The only thing I would add to what Brooke says is that I think it's pretty obvious when your doctor doesn't like you, so I'm not sure you need to ask.

To come back to Ivy, the woman who started this whole conversation when we met for coffee and she told me she thought her doctor doesn't like her, she has decided to have a conversation with her doctor to see if she can improve things there. This is a pragmatic decision on her part that acknowledges how hard it can be to find another doctor.

I know about that. When Dr. Livingston left Seattle for Tucson, almost two years ago, I went into a tailspin. I also saw two other oncologists briefly before I found Dr. Lee, who is the right doctor for me. I still see Dr. Livingston in Tucson once or twice a year, and he and Dr. Lee talk about me more often that I make the trip, so I have two great doctors--both of whom like me and get me--looking out for me.

E-mail on this topic
A few more people responded by e-mail because they weren't sure about posting their comments to the public blog. That is always OK with me, of course, although I often ask if I can post their comments, because I think they are useful to other people.

Carver wrote:

"I think it is important to have a good rapport with a doctor. There have been times I joked about how the reason I like my surgical oncologist is that he has a good sense of humor and that if you have to have an oncologist it helps for them to have a sense of humor.

"I have other doctors that I've had my ups and downs with. ...

"I have had doctors who I thought couldn't stand me and later realized it wasn't about me and we established a rapport.

"The devil's advocate issue is everyone has a bad day ...

"I guess my point is that I try to figure out if I'm being sensitive about something that isn't really about me but is about them. Sometimes when I've had a bad day people think I'm annoyed with them and I don't even realize that my manner is putting off that vibe. I think it's possible for a doctor to come into a patient's room from a stressful situation and not even realize they are putting off a certain vibe. There is no excuse for an unprofessional doctor but as long as they are professional then I try to give it a little time."

That, of course, is an excellent point. I do assume, though, that those of us who think we have a doctor who doesn't like us aren't basing that feeling on only one appointment.

I also had an e-mail from a woman with breast cancer who feels caught between her oncologist and her surgeon. The two doctors have different opinions about some fairly important steps in her care. I won't quote her, but I really feel for her. She is in a tough spot.

@ Jeanne Sather 2008.

Medicare + Tykerb = Insanity, Part 3

The woman I spoke to at "TykerbCares" on Wednesday told me that they would get back to me within 48 hours, which would have been Friday noon.

Well, I didn't hear back directly, but just this morning I had a voice-mail message from the pharmacist at Dr. Lee's office saying that the TykerbCares folks wanted them to fax some forms in, and those forms need my signature in several places.

So I need to go up there and sign these forms, and then the pharmacist will fax them to Tykerb. I have no idea what this means in terms of my getting the drug for free or for a reduced copay--my suspicion is that I'm still at the starting gate.

It's been raining like crazy here in Seattle--more like November than August--dark skies and heavy, pounding rain. NOT good for the tomatoes, which were just getting ripe.

@ Jeanne Sather 2008.

August 22, 2008

"My Doctor Doesn't Like Me!"--What to Do?

I just had coffee with a woman named Violet who has stage IV breast cancer, as I do, and she told me that she doesn't think her doctor likes her.

Now this is a huge hot button for me, because I think it is essential that my doctors not only like me, but understand me and my way of thinking. It doesn't seem like too much to ask, especially when you have a serious illness like metastatic cancer that cannot be cured.

That "cannot be cured" part means that you will be spending a lot of time with your doctor or doctors, and often they will be giving you bad news (although the news from my doctors lately has been mostly good--knock wood).

So I want to throw this topic open for discussion, because I know the regular readers of my blog will have lots to say--

Have you ever had a doctor who you thought didn't like you?

If so, what did you do?

If you have a doctor who does like you, tell me about that--what does that mean for you and your peace of mind?

Please post comments below, or, if you are shy, e-mail them to me at jeanne.sather@gmail.com

Thanks.

@ Jeanne Sather 2008.

Andrea Says Thanks

I mailed Andrea a second check the other day, for the rest of the donations that have come in. The total reached $420--so thank you to all who sent money to Andrea.

She e-mailed me this morning to let me know that she had received it, and wrote: "Please thank your readers for their contributions. It is nice to be able to live a little instead of just exist."

In early August, I decided to do an online fund-raiser to help Andrea, a 40-year-old former truck driver who has a very serious cancer.

Andrea has stage IV breast cancer and also inflammatory breast cancer. She had cancer in both her breasts and it has now spread throughout her body. She is in treatment with daily radiation, and of course can’t work.

She is also the single mother of a 3-year-old son, John, who she is raising with only erratic support from his father.

Here's the link to that first post, with the PayPal link if you'd like to send Andrea some money:

Send Money: An Online Fund-Raiser

@ Jeanne Sather 2008.


August 21, 2008

Support This Blog, Please

You may have noticed a "donate" button at the bottom of some posts on my blog.

A button that looks like this:

The button is there because, with two small exceptions, I have decided to keep The Assertive Cancer Patient ad-free. The exceptions are a link to Amazon whenever I mention a book, and a Netflix ad on my Cancer Movies pages.

There are any number of ways to put ads on a blog. It's simple and easy. I tried this for a week or two when I first put my blog up. I used the ad service provided by Typepad, which hosts my blog.

But--and this is a huge BUT--most of the ads that popped up on my blog were for Web sites, products, and services that I personally couldn't endorse. And I didn't want them on my blog. An awful lot of them fell into the quacks category.

Cancer patients are fairly easy targets for exploitation--because we're sick, because we're afraid, because we'd like a magic cure that came with no side effects ... I don't want the exploitation of any cancer patient to start with an ad on my blog.

So there are none.

But I still need to make some money from the blog, which takes the best hours and the best energy of my day.

The result? The donate button.

Thank you for any cash that you might be able to spare. I appreciate it more than you will ever know.

A special thanks to the cancer patients who have sent me donations, and then apologized for not being able to send more!

I know who my audience is, so I expected that if people were able to send a donation at all, it would be in the $10 to $20 range. Those $20 contributions are keeping me at the keyboard, blogging away.

If you want to read more about me, go to the About page.

A note about using PayPal: You can make a donation by clicking on the donate button and going through PayPal without setting up a PayPal account if you don't want one. There is an option to simply pay with a credit card.

@ Jeanne Sather 2008.

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