Booby Prizes

From now on, all runners up in our contest An All-Time Low: For Rudeness and Insensitivity will receive a Booby Prize.

Thanks to Amorette, who found these at a flea market, and actually had the nerve to buy one. They are actually "stress balls," you know, the ones you squeeze to build your grip strength and reduce stress.

Any woman within range who sees a guy squeezing one of these is not going to have HER stress reduced, of course.

All contest runners up will receive a real Booby Prize if we have an address for them, or if we know them and can just hand it over in person. Otherwise, we'll send the prize via e-mail, and they'll just get the digital image.

The winner of the All-Time Low Contest gets an even better prize.

Keep those entries coming!

Read more:

Woolly breasts appeal goes global (Love that headline!)

@ Jeanne Sather 2007.

Comments

[Amorette (on her dad's computer)]

The breast model is nicer and one hell of a lot classier, lol.

If I find more of these at the dollar price, I'll send you some. I washed it in antimicrobial gel before I got near it...who knows what creatures have been squeezing on them at the flea market?!?

[jeanne]

Good point!

Where is this fabulous flea market?

I'm going to be in Ohio and then NYC in March, are you anywhere close?

[Amorette (on her dad's computer)]

I'm just north of Dayton. March is my birthday month- would love to see you!

The flea market is one of two biggies on I-75 south, just after Dayton and just before the Cincinnati suburbs. You'll know you're close when you pass the 60-foot foam Jesus (unfortunately, I'm not kidding).

Home of boob squeezies, home of Benign Girl...what's not to love about this place?

[Sara]

Ooooh, I think we should fill them with pink-dyed vanilla pudding and hurl them like grenades, you know, at, um, people who deserve that sort of treatment...not sayin' who, exactly...you know...

It also would be really cool if we could rig 'em to spurt the pudding out of their nipples, like guns. Barring that, though, a grenade-delivered big old splat of pink would work just fine.

[Amorette (on her mom's computer)]

LOL...as it is, they're filled with Mysterious Liquid. Probably carcinogenic, with my luck, so I'm going to be extra careful and not break it.

The rubber (it REEKS of latex) is quite thick, and for a minute or so I was having fun bulging out the sides in large pink lumps. It looked just like the remote-village breast cancer illustration in my "Where there is no Doctor" text.

[jeanne]

Sara--wicked girl! What a great idea!

During October various people, including you, I think, had ideas for sabotaging pink ribbon displays--I think an army of one- and no-breasted women throwing these things like hand granades would get some attention. Maybe the pudding should be pink?

[Sara]

Oh, yes, it *must* be pink. If it were just plain, undyed vanilla, it would look like milk, and that would be far too close to useful.

Let me just state here that I accept no liability whatsoever for any consequences, including but not limited to any and all small claims actions seeking remuneration of dry cleaning fees which may arise. Just so you know. ;)

You and Carver and I have some licorice dots to throw around. These are potentially far less staining, but more bruising. We can throw them at people *just to get attention.*

[Beth]

I host a site called the Virtual Tea House. We have several bloggers, and the newest to join us is Susan Dearborn Jackson from Bend, Oregon. I posted her first submission as a guest blog. Susan is a breast cancer survivor with a wicked sense of humor. Here's her story of some of her boob's adventures.

http://virtualteahouse.com/blogs/beth/archive/2008/05/09/tales-of-the-wandering-boob.aspx

Thanks for the great work you are doing on this site!!
Beth, Virtual Tea House host