It's Not All Valentines: Christian Hate Mail

The message below is, by far, the nastiest message I have ever received, in all the time I have been writing about my life with cancer.

First, here is my reply, which I just e-mailed to the writer, who has an e-mail address containing the words "holy spirit." Is this a Christian?

My e-mail:

You have the honor (and I hope you're proud) of having written the nastiest message I have ever received.

Jeanne

After you read what this person has written, if you'd like to reply on my behalf, please do. Here is the e-mail address: holy_sprt@hotmail.com

A new comment from “HoLy1” was received on the post “When the Pain Meds Are (Almost) Worse Than the Pain” of the weblog “The Assertive Cancer Patient ”.

Comment:
At first my reading of this blog brought out the sympathetic feelings one would expect from a rational human being but the more I read, the more I see a self-consumed, bitter old woman that feels God and humanity has done her an injustice.

What's this crap about health care? If you want health care than go earn it! Why should I as a taxpayer have to pay for your health care? I shouldn't any more than you should pay for my phone bill.

If you want to live in a socialist state than just move to Cuba or Canada and see how good socialized medicine really is. Look at the parking lot of any American hospital close to the Canadian border. You'll find large groups of Canadians who will pay cash for American medicine rather than die waiting for the mediocre, slow care provided by Canada's "free" system.

It's unfortunate that people die because of lack of health care. If you were so concerned about health care perhaps you should have made better decisions with your personal life to assure that you could pay the premiums.

Do not ask me to provide you with free medical care because you choose to do stupid things as a young adult, are too cheap to pay your own premiums or aren't forward thinking enough to provide for your later years. As stated, it's unfortunate that you have a health care crisis.

Having terminal illness is absolutely unfortunate. It is not however a legitimate excuse to ask me to pay for your lack of judgment or your being too cheap to invest in your medical future.

Comments

[Nancy]

I wish I had some very pithy retort full of facts and figures but all I have is basic gutlevel anger at someone who must have better things to do than attack another soul trying to provide support and humor to fellow cancer sufferers. Keep on sharing we all need to hear what you have to say whatever our particular disease.

[carver]

Dear Jeanne,

I will never understand that kind of nastiness or how someone simply doesn't get it. I still have health insurance but the only reason is because my company lets me work full time from home. I don't know what I'd do if I wasn't able to work from home as a full time employee with benefits.

I don't even have active cancer (knock wood) but the groin lymph node dissection for melanoma which spread has left me with chronic pain. I'm not trying to make this about me. My point is that you do have active cancer after recurrences and if I were in that situation, the treatments I'd have available would make it impossible for me to work. For that matter, one of the reasons I turned down Interferon the only FDA approved adjuvant for stage III melanoma is it would have been hard for me to work during that year of treatment. That's not the only reason. IF the benefits had been great in terms of improving my prognosis, I would have done it and I also might easily have ended up without a job or insurance. It's not like I could have afforded COBRA during a gap period.

I have health insurance because I'm lucky, plain and simple. My employer has worked with me. Without health insurance I'd be in a huge bind because so many of the options for advanced melanoma (and of course other cancers) are not automatic in terms of medicare.

You are a voice for many of us when you are verbal about how messed up the system is and you do it with humor. Bravo from me to you. As ever, Carver

[Sara]

You know, I know people can't help feeling how they feel, but I really wish they wouldn't write letters like this, because reading them is bad for my karma. I just can't help but instantly wish horrible things to happen to them, like a whopping case of cancer that overruns their own fabulous financial planning.

(sigh) How am I ever going to achieve enlightenment with such assholes in the world shooting off their unthinking, inexperienced, uneducated mouths? ;)

[jeanne]

Oh, Sara, you said it. Thank you all.

The thing that is so WEIRD is that this comment isn't even about me. I HAVE health insurance. This person is not paying for anything for me.

Sigh. Let's all take care of our own karma.

Jeanne

[Lisa]

Jeanne,

I've read that email 3 times now and each time it makes me mad in a different way. The bottom line is that this person is still living in that lovely perfect world where you tink you can plan everything. However, when your life is turned upside down, and sideways and then poured out through a salt shaker sometimes all of your planning doesn't matter. I thank God everyday taht I had disability insurance, but even just disability insurance would not have gotten me through the last year in perfect financial state. My boss has worked with me, but not everyone is so lucky. I could go on and on.

Sometimes I want ot hit people like that over the head until they get it, but the truth is that process makes me mad and them none the wiser because they are the kind of people who can't see things from a different angle. They aren't worth the angst they case.

[shawn (REVEREND Shawn!!)]

What an ASS !!! And I don't mean the animal mentioned in the Bible either ...

Jeanne, these kind of letters just sadden me, particularly when they would invoke their "faith" to justify their petty and hateful stance.

I would love to itemize the errors in their letter ... like the reference to WE Canadians ... yes, some short sighted, insensitive, and selfish ass----s among us think that if they have the money they should be able to jump the line and be ushered in at the front - the funny thing for me, is that they are usually the same people who can complain about the high taxes AND the short coming of Medicare without connecting the dots ... surprising given the pointy nature of their heads !!!

I continue to offer you up in prayer and send you ALL the GOOD energy I can muster (you and all like you who are living with Cancer) ... to posit blame on your shoulders for ANY of this is NOT a faith response I'm comfortable with. You shouldn't have to plan to get a devestating illness ... basic Christ-like compassion SHOULD mean that we care for the LEAST among us with out conditions ... funny, I think a guy named Jesus said something about caring for all ...

Clearly your writer hasn't read much by Jesus, otherwise there would have been a very different note posted ... The up side, if there is ONE, is that with ALL of us who support you, that lone lunatic beating her BIBLE in the wilderness remains a marginalize, shallow and completely selfish voice that reflect NO FAITH I'M familiar with ... I'm glad in this moment that God said - "Vengence is MINE" ... cause invoking the Holy Spirit in your email address, then spouting such contemptable tripe like this, is just asking to have big old target dropped on your back by some celestial being with an attitude ...

As for me and my house, we'll continue to worship a God who welcomes in ALL, and who weeps when one of Her children is in pain ... but then what do I know?? I'm a radical Socialist ya-hoo who thinks the Medicare system and the taxes in this country are pretty damned good!!!

(still looking for a single guy for you too !!!)

Be a duck Jeanne - this person is an ignorant IDIOT of the highest order ... let is ALL roll off, and focus on the good karma !!!!

[Jacqueline]

"hoLy1" and/or "holy_sprt"... How about HOLY SHIT!!! The name should be "HOLEY little one" because there's plenty of holes in the soul/spirit of that one. Talk about self righteous. Jesus should have stayed home and worried about taking care of only himself and left others to lose all hope and faith- that's clearly that wacko's idea. email him/her?!- that would only cause him/her to prey upon me like the bored vulture he/she is and trust me- that just wouldn't be good for either of us. Love you, Jeanne.
and AMEN to Reverend Shawn's words. Amen.

[jeanne]

Thanks, Jac. Don't waste any energy on this person, I agree. And thanks again Rev. Shawn. I guess I forgot that you were a really rev. when I was teasing you. Apologies.

[shawn]

Jeanne: Tease away ... I have big shoulders and I DON'T mind.

I invoked the "Reverend" because I'm tired of people being abusive with their faith and speaking in broad generalizations like your critic.

I used my Title, simply to point out that some of us who hold to the Christian faith do not hold to narrow mindedness like "they" did ...

I'm happy just being Shawn - but when I'm ticked off, I use the title ... and this was one of those moments ...

[jeanne]

Shawn--I've never called a rev. by his/her first name before. Thanks. Maybe at the conference you could talk about the use of first names to close social and status distances between doctors (and pastors, ministers, etc.) and cancer patients?

Just sent you an e-mail re the conference.

Jeanne

[debutaunt]

what Sara said.

I think that person is a step below a troll.

[laurie]

How totally reprehensible.

And can I just say, yet again that what he says about Canada's health care system is absolute bullshit.

This kind of misinformation really makes my blood boil.

And as for what he says about folks who lack insurance or run out of insurance...may he never learn first hand how easily that can happen.

[Amorette]

wow.

I was born with cancer. I wonder if holy_sprt has any pointers on how I could have planned that better.