Pain

As a few of my readers have pointed out, I've been so busy lately that I haven't had time to write about the end of my break from treatment. Too busy living my life and blogging about really important topics, like Canadian men, to write about what is happening on the cancer front.

Well, today, I was blindsided by uncontrollable pain, and pretty much had to cancel my day and go to bed. The same thing happened one day last week when I forgot to take my pain meds.

During my four-month break from treatment, my medical oncologist, Dr. Lee, and I decided to watch my tumor markers (rising) and test results (mixed) and wait for symptoms before starting chemo again.

This was fine for me, because I so desperately wanted that break. And I got it. My physical energy is back. My emotional and mental energy are good. My hair is thick again and my skin has lost that greenish tone it used to have in the mornings. Greenish skin with lavender lips--that was my morning look.

But several weeks ago, the first symptom appeared--pain in the pelvis where I have a couple of mets (tumors in the bone. These are breast cancer tumors that have spread, or metastasized, to the bone).

So Dr. Lee referred me back to the radiation oncologist who treated me last December, and also gave me a prescription for pain meds.

I went to see Dr. Eulau, who is at Swedish Hospital, and had some scans and set-up appointments and began a series of 14 radiation therapy treatments to my pelvis and the very top of my left leg. Today was treatment No. 5.

The pain should decrease at about treatment No. 10, Dr. Eulau says. I hope so. I'll be in Vancouver this weekend, meeting the most promising candidate of all the men (and one woman) who answered my personal ad for a Canadian husband.

Anyway, the trick to controlling the pain is to stay on top of it. I have two pain drugs, Naproxen and Oxycodone, which I take every four hours.

If I go to sleep at night without taking my meds, as I did last week, or run out of one of them, as I did today, then the pain gets ahead of me and it REALLY HURTS. Taking pain meds once you are in a lot of pain doesn't do that much good--taking them regularly regardless of the level of pain is the way to keep it under control.

I know this, but I goofed, and I paid for it today.

I went in for my radiation therapy at about noon, saw my doctor briefly to chat and get new prescriptions, then went to the drugstore in so much pain my eyes were crossing. While I waited for the prescriptions I went downstairs to Whole Foods and picked up some sushi for lunch.

Then came home, canceled a phone interview with a reporter and also canceled my writing workshop for tonight. Took my pills and plopped an ice pack on the sore spot and went to sleep.

After four hours of sleep, I feel like a human being again.

Lesson learned.

Note: If you are new to my blog, you may not realize that I am extremely sensitive about people giving me unwanted advice. Please do not e-mail me suggesting different pain remedies or ways of coping with pain. I especially dislike it when people try to sell their products on my blog--those messages will be deleted immediately.

Words of sympathy and support are gratefully accepted. You are also welcome to tell your personal stories about cancer and pain.

Questions I Hate: Pain

Copyright @ Jeanne Sather 2007.

Comments

[Teresa Hartman]

Sending you support from what the news jocks call the heartland, Jeanne - it is funny how we have to relearn some lessons. I remember during my initial radiation treatment, if I had not taken all of the pain meds as prescribed, I would wake up in a *really* bad mood. Once I got the rhythm down about taking the meds before the pain, it worked out great. I hope you enjoyed that sushi!! And congratulations on ditching Jabba. I thought I could ditch the ninja habit, but burnt my face today - still too soon, dang it.

[Kristina]

Oh, crap.

I'm sorry. I've had tastes of those kinds of pain (the cross your eyes kind) and it's not an experience I'd like to repeat. I certainly wouldn't wish it on you.

In one of my surgeries, I accidentally went cold turkey from pain meds - I didn't realize that the pain pump was about to run out, and I declined the oral meds because I was feeling so good. It all hit at once and I was shaking and crying before it got figured out. Sucks, doesn't it? I wish that nobody had to go through that, ever. (Why my nurses didn't know the pain pump schedule was beyond me, but that's another rant.) I'm sorry that you're going through it now.

And as for mets trying to take over...I just don't know what to say. I hate cancer. That's about all I can come up with.

Sleep, good meds, good book, good food....hopefully some combination of the above will cause tomorrow to be a brighter day. Sweet dreams.

[jeanne]

Teresa--sorry about the sunburn! Bummer. Do you have any more good ninja stories to tell? Those always cheer me up.

And Kristina--you read my mind. I just ate a handful of homegrown cherry tomatoes, and now I'm going to get into bed with a book and some green tea cookies. They are delicious, flavored with the tea used in the tea ceremony, "matcha."

Pain is almost back under control. Thanks for being up, both of you.

Jeanne

[Jacqueline]

Jeanne, Jeanne, Jeanne, I miss you dearly and want you to be pain free! A big fat fiddlyfrickin'farts to the whole damn situation. As for pain med suggestions- I know you mentioned that you don't want unsolicited advice but I checked out Sara's brownies over at her blog and OMG I think they'd ease just about any pain any where! They are so beautilicious. See if your local pharmacist can order those babies. love you and xo, jac.

[jeanne]

Jac--funny girl! As though I would ever get upset over a suggestion that I "take two brownies and call in the morning"!

I am back on schedule with the pain pills and feel fine today. Running out for an appt, but I'll write more later. "Trunk show"--that's your mantra for the week. Chant it often. I have so many people in Seattle who can't wait to meet you!

Love,

Jeanne

[shawn]

There are no words that can be spoken when that wave of pain crests ... I've been fortunate to have been spared it thus far in my life's journey, but I've held many hands of many friends as they've walked those moments ... The best I can do for you Jeanne (something I do joyously and willingly) is offer my best wishes, my prayers, and ALL the positive energy I can muster and send it in your direction to aid you (and ALL in similar places) in your wholeness.

May the energy and positiveness you show and live be the foundation on which our care builds ... be well ... and may this storm soon abate ...

Be whole ... (you just GOTTA get to Vancouver !!!)

[jeanne]

Shawn--thanks. Waves of energy help. I will definitely be going to Vancouver this weekend. I have a date for crepes on Saturday morning with a man who sounds like he might be "the one." More on that soon.

Jeanne

[Lisa]

Jeanne,

Sorry I am a little delayed in my support as I ma enjoying my vacation, but I am so sorry that you are in pain, and i hope it gets better soon. Also, as I well know radiation sucks, especially to a joint, don't down play it. Lessons are hard to remember because those drugs suck. Good luck.

[laurie]

Fuck. I am sorry to hear that the break is over. And that you are in pain. Cancer is a miserable SOB and it's not fair that a brilliant, talented, courageous, honest, inspiring and altogether awesome woman like you is going through this.
And yes, you do have to get to Vancouver and let us all know what your suitor is like!!!

[debutaunt]

My only answer to pain (most was during my stem cell transplant) was sleep. I don't get cross-eyed, but my eyes would dialate from the pain. My neurologist changed meds, and then a Sixbucks fixes me up.

If your suitors don't work out, try a site called plentyoffish. It's a free dating site and there are lots of Canadians. I'm near capping my insurance and have been looking for a hubs for about a year now. Not as lucky, but then again I'm not as cute as you are.

Keep pain free. It's almost October!

[Sara]

Yes, I agree that you totally need the brownies now. I have secured containers and will bake tomorrow, or Friday at the latest. If you need some more when Jacqueline comes, more can be made. Containers are reusable, recyclable -- and refillable. :)

Hang in there, dynamo.

[jeanne]

Thank you all so much. I am especially addressing this to Laurie, Lisa, Debutant, and Sara, since I'm reading your comments for the first time.

Debutant--are you serious about looking for a Canadian man? Will you tell me more, maybe in an e-mail? I have a couple of good prospects in reserve in case JS and I don't click this weekend.

Do you want me to introduce you to any of them? Or I could forward the info about them and you could let me know if you want an introduction. I may end up becoming a go-between after all!

And Sara--I suspect that your brownies should be available by prescription only. I plan to photograph them before I eat them and put them up here for everyone to drool over. That's mean, I know.

Lisa--thanks for the reminder about radiation, especially to the joint. I've basically been running in, joking with my techs, getting the zap, and running out again to carry on with my frenetic life. I need to slow down. Pain again today, even though I took the drugs on schedule, so I am going to tuck myself into bed early with a book and a cookie.

[james hemphill]

I have a friend that is dying of cancer, but I'm wondering why they won't feed him, nurse's bring him food, but he's to weak to eat, and they say it's ok to eat is food, it's like their starving him, do you have a answer, I'm really sorry for you, and wish you the best

[jeanne]

James--I am so sorry to hear about your friend. I can only guess what is going on. Is your friend in a hospital or nursing home, rather than a hospice? That might be the answer to the food question. They bring him meals even though he can't eat them and doesn't need them.

If he is close to the end of his life, he doesn't need food. Maybe you can ask to talk to the doctor about this? He might need liquids but not solid food.

I am so sorry. Jeanne