Who Wants to Play?: Prostate Cancer Ken

Amy, a fellow blogger, suggested that Breast Cancer Barbie needs a companion, maybe "Lymphoma Ken."

Personally, I think it should be "Prostate Cancer Ken."

Think about it. We could really have fun with this, and at the same time hit the male business execs responsible for these stupid dolls right where it hurts, in the groin.

See if they think it helps them in their "cancer journey" (gag) to own a Prostate Cancer Ken. Or do they want one for their sons to help them cope with their fathers' cancer--the way the Breast Cancer Barbie was promoted as a gift for girls with a mother or grandmother going through breast cancer treatment?

I'll be heading out to Toys R Us in the next day or two to buy a Ken doll to remake as Prostate Cancer Ken. In the meantime, please send me your suggestions for the text that should go on the box (Breast Cancer Barbie comes in a pink box with words like "Hope ... Love ... Empowerment" written in flowing pink script inside the box).

Also, we need a way to indicate, tastefully, that Prostate Cancer Ken won't be having sex for awhile, maybe never, after his prostate cancer treatment. And what color are the ribbons for prostate cancer anyway? We'll need to dress him in ribbons of the appropriate color, as BC Barbie is wrapped in a pink stole over her sparkly pink ball gown.

Photos are also welcome. Come on ladies, let's have fun creating Ken. (Guys can play too, of course, but it would take an unusual man to get the humor in this, I think.)

@ Jeanne Sather 2007.

Comments

[Amy]

Blue ribbon, my husband tells me. How did he know? From all the major league baseball promotions they did on Fathers Day. So maybe blue ribbons and loads of MLB logos on the box?

[jeanne]

That's right. I think it's a pale blue ...

Jeanne

[jeanne]

I think he should wear a pale blue backless hospital gown, decorated with little blue ribbons, and have a miniature copy of "Prostate Cancer for Dummies"--a real book, I know the author, and maybe some tubes ... ?

Not sure how to get the "no sex" part in.

[Beryl Gorbman]

But wait! Ken and Barbie have been recalled due to bad Chinese paint. Maybe Ken got cancer BECAUSE of the paint.

[pocketina]

Hang on a sec:
there's a BREAST CANCER BARBIE?!

Okay, now for Prostate Cancer Ken:

Blue ribbon lapel pin, worn on his baby blue tuxedo, and an infantilizing baby blue teddy bear for him to clutch, while in the other hand he holds aloft a light-blue champagne flute decorated with a tiny little wineglass charm...of a tiny, baby blue ribbon.

Perfection!

[jeanne]

Beryl: Oh, no. really? I love that. Jeanne

Pcketina--there is indeed a Breast Cancer Barbie (see the link in my post above). It/she came out last year. How could I not make fun of this.

Love your suggestions for dressing Ken. Maybe he can have the backless hospital gown as an alternate outfit.

Jeanne

[pocketina]

Yah,sorry, I'm an idiot, or I totally thought that was a nightmare-scenario post, and never dreamed there could actually BE something like that Barbie creature. Gak!
Gak, I say!

[jeanne]

A friend who does medical trascription for a living sent me this comment via e-mail:

Prostate Cancer Ken has more problems than prostate cancer. If he is like the original Ken, he has no real penis! Just a bulge. I think a full array of slings and diapers should be made available in case he has a transurethral prostatectomy (TURP). Also a baby blue ribbon for prostate cancer awareness.

[laurie]

"Also, we need a way to indicate, tastefully, that Prostate Cancer Ken won't be having sex for awhile, maybe never, after his prostate cancer treatment."

Ummm...no one has pointed out the obvious that, having no genitals, Ken's sex life may already be somewhat limited? Come to think of it, can you get prostate cancer if you don't have genitals? :-)

Great idea, Jeanne! Do keep us posted on Prostate Ken's transformation.

[Sara]

I think Prostate Cancer Ken should be carrying a bottle of Viagra -- not, as Laurie has noted, that it would help since he never really got erections before surgery, either. Unless -- oh, never mind.

Incidentally, when I worked at Whole Foods, we sold things called "register coupons," which represented donations to various charities. (As far as I know, Whole Foods still does this.) People could buy a coupon for five or ten bucks (or two or five bucks, depending on the charity), and Whole Foods would pass on the money collected en masse at the end of a month. One annual choice in my region was related to breast cancer; I never did get a straight, clear answer on exactly how it was related, whether it was money for research or money to help take care of people in the community who have the disease. Regardless, I got a number of complaints from men with prostate cancer that nobody was wearing any ribbons or collecting any money in the grocery store for them.

It was hard to know what to say to them.

Maybe Ken can kick off a new awareness. But what oh what color ribbon should it be?

I once read of a woman with rectal cancer who started wearing a brown ribbon for laughs. I don't suppose it would be good taste or good manners to co-opt that for this purpose.

Too bad blue -- even baby blue -- isn't automatically construed as infantilizing the way pink now is. It makes true parity that much less attainable.

Oh, and by the way, I seem to remember seeing someone somewhere making a Breast Cancer Barbie who had actually been, uh, "surgically" altered. Don't have time to look for it now, but I thought it was pretty great, and if I run across it again, I will definitely send you the link.

Cheers!

[Alex Roberts]

WHAT??? Ken has hair, that can't be! And he'll come with the optional penile implant to go with that diaper. Oi.

[jeanne]

The "surgically altered" Breast Cancer Barbie is on the Young Survival Coalition bulletin board.

[joe]

That's hilarious! I wish I had one of those when I was diagnosed with prostate cancer at 39 years old. I get the point of your commentary but, find it your satire not so funny and a little counterproductive. How do you know those responsible for this are "male business execs"? We're all kind of in the same boat aren't we?

[jeanne]

Hi Joe--As I said, this is humor that will more likely appeal to women with cancer, who are very upset by things like Breast Cancer Barbie. How did I know that they were male biz execs? I checked.