Meet Prostate Cancer Ken

So, after my blood draw today, as part of my attempt to keep moving and fend off depression, I headed to Toys R Us to buy a Ken doll or two.

Well, I can't recommend that experience as a cure for depression--talk about conspicuous consumption: junky toys, tons of excess packaging, gender-stereotyping to the max in the toys themselves ... not to mention the whole race thing.

I was only able to find two different Ken dolls, one is "Beach Glam Ken," blond and blue-eyed, of course, and the other is "Ken the Groom Doll, every girl's dream," ("bride sold separately, subject to availability," according to the box. I didn't see her), who has brown hair and blue eyes.

There were no black or Asian Ken dolls. And, of course, no Hispanic Ken. Nor were there any clothes available for my Ken dolls--dozens of different Barbie dolls, and then dozens of separate outfits for Barbie, but that was it for poor Ken. Not even a powder-blue tux, which I was hoping for.

Ken looks a lot different from the dolls I remember from when I was a kid (Not that I owned one, my mom disliked Barbies). That Ken was pretty dorky looking, and I think he had molded hair. These have plastic hair, which may get shaved to transform them into Prostate Cancer Ken. Although prostate cancer is not usually treated with chemo, so maybe not. (Surgery or radiation. Chemo for metastatic disease.)

So I need to get to work, using my own ideas and some of the many suggestions that readers have posted to my blog, I think Ken should be dressed in a backless blue hospital gown, embroidered with little blue ribbons (the prostate cancer ribbon, bet you didn't know what color it was).

He'll wear a blue wrist band also, and come with a tiny copy of "Prostate Cancer for Dummies" (a real book, I know the author), a couple of itty-bitty Depends (adult diapers), and a blue teddy bear, for comfort. Maybe some plastic tubing and a urine bottle.

I'm still trying to figure out a tasteful way to indicate that Ken will not be having sex for quite awhile, post treatment, and I don't think Viagra helps in this situation, I need to double check.

Then I'll write some text to adorn the box-- sex-stereotyped cliches to correspond to the Breast Cancer Barbie box.

A footnote: Ken is cheap. I paid only about $6 for the Beach Glam doll, more for the groom. I paid something like $40 for Breast Cancer Barbie last year.

Read more:

Who Wants to Play?: Prostate Cancer Ken

Breast Cancer Barbie

@ Jeanne Sather 2007.

Comments

[jessica]

"I paid something like $40 for Breast Cancer Barbie last year."

Ugh. Of course you did. So Mattel and Komen could clean up on it?

[jeanne]

Yup. But I needed her for my "wall of shame," and also to photograph for the blog. She was a business expense.

[jessica]

yes, yes. i was just pointing out why the huge difference in price. (business expense! ha!) your ken doll there, once you're done with the remodel, would probably fetch upwards of 30 or 40 dollars himself, i'm thinkin'!

p.s. (whispering) dare i suggest a strap-on for ken's "intimacy difficulties?" i know, i know! shame on me!

[pocketina]

I know, I'm getting to be a broken record, but I'm gonna say it anyway:
I agree with Jessica again, this time re. the symbol for intimacy difficulties....

[jessica]

pocketina-

thank god someone does! the silence was beginning to make me fear a lynching!

i did just notice, however, one teeny tiny requirement for said prop, from Jeanne (is there a better way for me to insert quotes in comments?):

"Also, we need a way to indicate, tastefully, that Prostate Cancer Ken won't be having sex for awhile..."

now, i firmly believe that perception is reality, but i'm having a tough time with this one. anybody over at etsy have a talent for silicone and leather?

[jessica]

wait-i could be wrong on the material. silicone? latex? how the hell would i know... at least i can be sure about a belt and a buckle, or another reliable fastener.