From the Mailbox: Fellow Travelers, Dogs, and Old Friends

One of the things I love most about blogging is the e-mail I get from people I would never "meet" if I didn't have a blog.

In the past day or two, I've had e-mail from "fellow travelers," AKA partners of people with cancer; a woman who has questions about taking her dog out in public as a service dog; and an old friend I'd lost contact with. Actually, a number of old friends have found me through my blog and other writings on the Web, but this one is special, so I'll start there.

Old Friends
Vicki and I originally connected when she read Jeanne's Diary on the OnHealth Web site and contacted me through the attached bulletin board. We never met face to face, but corresponded by e-mail for years.

Here's her message:
Hi Jeanne: I guess we lost touch, and I was thinking about you today as I was playing around on the computer. I found your blog and just wanted to say Hi from Qualicum Beach. I'm glad to see you're still fighting the fight and you sound feisty as always!

All is well with me....10 years and counting. Life is good, albeit summer is strange this year, both here and in your neck of the woods.

Ten years. Love it. (This month is the anniversary of my diagnosis, for those of you who might be wondering, NINE years ago now.)

Fellow Travelers
I don't write much about the partners of people with cancer, probably because I don't have a partner, but a number of them read my blog, even though my primary audience is cancer patients with attitude.

And of course they are always welcome. I have a lot of sympathy for people in this situation, and I can imagine how tough it must be, although I do have very strong opinions about boundaries. (See Soapbox No. 1: Whose Disease Is This?)

Having said that, I was happy to hear from Amy, whose husband was diagnosed with immunoblastic t-cell lymphoma the day after Thanksgiving last year.

Amy writes, "He finished four rounds of hyper c-vad chemo and just completed a stem cell transplant last week. He's doing as well as can be expected, but the fallout of cancer is much more complicated than I ever imagined. Just scrolling through your blog was like a revelation, that what we've gone through is not unique. (Insurance issues, being treated badly by employers, friends who avoid us because who wants to picture themselves as a widow with young kids or with a sick spouse...)"

Amy also has a blog, about which she says, "My own blog touches on some of these things, but it's not my cancer, it's my husband's, so I'm pretty careful."

Read:
helloamylou

Amy also suggests that Breast Cancer Barbie needs a companion, maybe "Lymphoma Ken."

Personally, I think it should be "Prostate Cancer Ken"--hit the male business execs responsible for these stupid dolls right where it hurts. See if they think it helps them in their "cancer journey" (gag) to own a Prostate Cancer Ken. Or do they want one for their sons to help them cope with their fathers' cancer--the way the Breast Cancer Barbie was promoted as a gift for girls with a mother or grandmother going through breast cancer treatment.

It sounds pretty stupid when you reverse the genders, doesn't it?

I also heard from Ken Wachsberger, who I quoted in yesterday's post on academic publishing and copyright issues. Ken has a booklet for sale on his Web site for partners of women with breast cancer.

Ken says, "I wrote it during my wife's breast cancer adventure seven years ago. (She's clean
now, thank you.) As her support person, I found a lot of material about how I could help her but nothing about how I could keep sane while doing so. My booklet answers the question for others."

Here's the link:
Your Partner Has Breast Cancer?: 21 Ways to Keep Sane as a Support Person

I haven't read it yet, so maybe I'll ask Ken for a review copy, but from the description on the Web site it looks useful.

Cancer Dog Questions
After I wrote Cancer Dog and Want a Service Dog of Your Very Own?, I got a lot of e-mail and also comments on my blog from dog lovers who were thinking about training their dogs as service dogs.

I also received an e-mail from a woman named Debra in San Francisco who ran into some problems.

"I have gone to my doc this week and have gotten a scrip to have my pup a service animal," Debra writes. "I read on your site that this was enough to bring her everywhere...she is a french bulldog and very mellow....I was searching around and I have to register my dog before I can 'get special tags' to show she is a service dog.....well i am not able to do that because she does not have her rabies shot yet...i have to wait 2 months when she is 6 months....they told me I would not be able to get the tags until then and that she need to be registered first."

I wrote back and asked Debra WHO had told her that she needed special tags for her service dog. It sounded like it was someone in dog licensing in San Francisco city government. It is true that service dogs need shots and regular dog tags, just as pet dogs do, but I think federal law says that service dog owners don't need anything else.

So I also suggested that she take the page from the ADA Web site with her to discuss this again, and also contact the Office of Civil Rights, which oversees ADA and service dog issues. That link again is http://www.ada.gov/svcanimb.htm.

"My pup makes my heart lighter," Debra writes, "and she is real good for being so young ... I have never had a pup so well behaved. I guess she was what the docter ordered to keep me going."

@ Jeanne Sather 2007.