Who, or What, Is an Assertive Cancer Patient?

These are questions I kick around every day of my life with cancer, especially since I began writing this blog back in September of 2006 and officially identified myself as “The Assertive Cancer Patient.”

Of course, I think I was an assertive cancer patient before the birth of the blog, but that was my coming out of the closet, so to speak.

I think there are at least three good reasons to be an assertive cancer patient:

• You will get better care. 

• You will probably live longer. 

• You will feel better about yourself and your illness.

Here are some more characteristics of an assertive cancer patient:

The Assertive Cancer Patient: Is Not a Superhero

The Assertive Cancer Patient: Feels Surprisingly Happy

The Assertive Cancer Patient: Chooses the Right Doctor

The Assertive Cancer Patient: Gets a Second Opinion

The Assertive Cancer Patient: Is Not Necessarily a ‘Good Patient’

The Assertive Cancer Patient: Knows About Workplace Rights

The Assertive Cancer Patient: Redefines the Disease

More to come, including The Downside of Being an Assertive Cancer Patient.

Are you an assertive cancer patient? I love a good story: jeanne.sather@gmail.com

@ Jeanne Sather 2007.

Comments

[Michele]

Hmm, that's so true! The only male cancer blogger I can think of is Leroy Sievers blogging on NPR. I go to a weekly support group and an art therapy group at the Wellness Community and while there are men in both groups the groups are overwhelmingly female. My dh did attend a caregivers support group and there were other men there, but mainly partners of women who were in their own support groups which met at the same time. I've gotten used to the mostly female presence in these groups but really do like having men in them, it makes them more interesting.

[Jeanne]

That's right. A couple of people have mentioned Leroy to me recently, but I haven't checked out his blog yet. I'll add him to the short list of male cancer bloggers.

Jeanne

[John]

I agree with your whole heartedly on what an assertive patient is. I am all that and more, I must tell you it HAS helped me in every way you speak of Jeanne.

Best to all,

John
AKA
One of the few

[jeanne]

John, you are one of us now. You didn't want to be, we didn't want you to be, but here you are and I think you will find that you get tremendous support from other cancer bloggers--everthing from very black cancer jokes (only told by cancer patients among themselves) to an ear when you need to rant or vent or cry.

Jeanne

[Dee]

Hi Jeanne,
Thank you for your comments to my recent blog entries and I will respond to them here in a moment ... but in response to your question, are you an assertive cancer patient, I'd have to say yes, I am.

In fact, a good friend of mine recently told me how much he admired how "aggressive" I am when it comes to my cancer care. Partly, I think he was referring to how I am incorporating alternative forms of medicine into my care - like seeing an acupunturist, who has given me a lot of good tips to alleviate side effects. I also have talked to a colleague who is from India and is familiar with ayuvedic medicine. But mostly, I think that I do press my doctors for good information and for the reasons why they recommend certain courses of treatment. Like, I didn't want to submit to IV chemo because of previous side effects and so I really did a lot of research about whether or not chemo would really be what I wanted to do. I eventually chose not to, at least at first, until we knew for certain that I still had cancer in my skin - and then found it in my bones. At the moment, I need to make decisions about whether or not to do further radiation. I meet with my rad onc next Tuesday and I plan to ask a lot of questions about risks in relation to maybe doing LESS radiation and see how the skin responds and then if it doesn't do the trick, then doing more. In other words, if she wants me to go 5x/week, I might suggest 2x/week in the hopes of heading off the chance of another open skin wound and/or any problems with the tissue expander. Or, instead of doing radiation over 5 or 6 weeks, maybe trying it for 2 weeks and see how things respond.

I also adjust my dosage of Xeloda every day depending on side effects and am learning, through trial and error, what my body can tolerate.

I like to ask a lot of questions. My doctor doesn't seem to mind and sometimes, even, he agrees with my logic, especially in cases where the real answer isn't known (like whether or not to do lymph massage in an area where we know there is cancer in the lymph channels?).

So, I think that makes me assertive.

[jeanne]

Dee--Oh, yeah. I would say you are an assertive patient. Thanks for telling your story for people who may not know you yet.

I'm glad to have you as my comrade in arms ... Or boobs ...

Jeanne

[Dee]

I love that! Comrade in boobs! Or, maybe it's "boobless comrades"?!! I may be heading that way if the radiation makes me lose the implant!

My son has a Wheel of Fortune game, that plugs into the video input on the TV. We played it this afternoon and he decided that we should have funny names. The first game, he chose "butt" and he liked "nose" for me (the nose knows, ya know). The second game, I chose "boobless" and now I can't remember what he chose. It seemed appropriate under the circumstances.