Need a Snappy Comeback? Try Out One of These

A couple of things became very clear after last week's post asking for snappy comebacks: One, Teri, the Cheeky Librarian, and I are not alone in our quest for the perfect snappy comeback when a stranger asks an intrusive question. And two, we are under no obligation to tell the truth just because someone asks.

The second point opens up all sorts of possibilities. And really, what obligation do I have to answer truthfully when I'm asked a question that I don't want to answer in the first place, and that I may find upsetting or simply an invasion of my privacy?

Freedom.

All sorts of folks suggested all sorts of snappy comebacks. Here are some samples. Feel free to borrow them:

1. My friend Jill has metastatic breast cancer and often wears a sleeve or wraps her arm because of lymphedema. She says she just answers "yes" to whatever someone asks.

Stranger: “Did you break your arm?” Jill: “YES.”

Stranger: “Did you burn yourself?” Jill: “YES.”

Stranger: “Did someone hit you?” Jill: “YES.”

Jill explains: “If I agree, it doesn't invite more conversation on a subject I'm tired of talking about.”

2. What happened to your arm/leg/head/whatever?

Answer: Why do you want to know?

3. What happened to your leg?

Answer 1: "Which one?"

Answer 2: "Which time?"

4. What happened to your arm?

Answer 1: I was in a knife fight. You should see the other gal.

Answer 2: Shark bite.

I'm psyched now. Can't wait for someone to say something stupid to me. Of course, now that I'm prepared with several good comebacks, it will never happen. Why is that?

@ Jeanne Sather 2007.

Comments

[Sara]

Working my way through the latest Disability Carnival, I came across this post which includes an *awesome* comeback I myself can't wait to deploy:

http://retiredwaif.com/2007/05/31/slutty-shoes-milestones-and-the-new-normal/

Cheers!

[Jeanne]

Sara--that's a great one. I also like this line:" ...the idea that random, invasive public judgements are something that, you know, I should care about."

Clearly, this girl is one of us.

Kind of like when people in the grocery store check out the shopping carts of people paying with food stamps to make sure they're not (gasp) buying cookies or chips. And then give them stink eye if they are.

(This is harder to do now. I've noticed that people don't have food STAMPS anymore, they're some kind of a debit card.)

Jeanne