Stepmom, 1998

"Stepmom" is a film that hits too close to home for me right now, which is probably why I cried all through the second half.

I cried some more in the kitchen when I went to make an after-movie cup of coffee, really wailed, and I’m still sniffling now as I write this. So I guess the film was cathartic for me, and knocked some things loose that needed to be knocked.

The plot starts out as a triangle: Mom, Dad, and Stepmom, with two adorable but angry kids in the middle. Divorced Supermom Susan Sarandon is diagnosed with a cancer recurrence halfway through (although this is no surprise, the trailers let you know what is coming), and the two women—after some funny sniping and some intensely painful exchanges—finally come to terms, allowing the kids to love both of them.

Anyone who is a parent and has cancer will find this movie painful to watch, no question.

But it is also beautifully done: the cancer part of the story is accurate and not overly dramatic; the three leads (Julia Roberts, Sarandon, and Ed Harris) are all wonderful; and the kids are fine actors as well—no overacting little Shirley Temples here.

Irony: "Stepmom" was released in 1998, the year I was first diagnosed.

The too-close-to-home part: Recently I became too sick to have my younger son live with me full-time, but his father refused to take him in, and we are going to mediation in early June. There is a stepmom involved, and what can I say? She’s no Julia Roberts.

Cancer patients strongly cautioned. Think about your own family situation before you pick up this tearjerker. If nothing else, the dying Supermom probably makes all of us real-world moms, dying or not, feel more than a little inadequate.

Read the intro to my Cancer Movies series:

Cancer Movies

@ Jeanne Sather 2007.

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Comments

[Wendy]

This makes my heart ache!!!

[Stewart]

Lis and I watched Supermom last night. Not a dry eye in the room.

As a divorced parent who does not have cancer, I'd like to say that the movie has relevance for people like me, too. It's about letting other people, particularly of the same gender, be parents of your kids. That can be very hard. The great joy of parenting an infant depends on your being the one who gets to be there, like it or not, 24 hours a day. Later on, though, there is room to share. You just have to be confident that your child's love for another Mom or Dad will not diminish his or her love for you. And you can learn to be grateful for what the new, other parent can bring to your child's life.

The Supermom in Stepmom did not, at first, have that confidence. And was therefore not as super as she appeared. Her superness was some form of overcompensating. But she became a more confident, fuller person. She learned through the process of letting go.