The Assertive Cancer Patient

Get a Boycott October Button

Sick of pink ribbons, pink tomato soup, pink Tictacs, pink ribbon toilet paper, and Breast Cancer Barbie?

Join the boycott of October, 2007.

Just e-mail me your mailing address (jeanne.sather@gmail.com) and I will send you a button, absolutely free. I will also send you a flier that you can copy and hand out to anyone who asks about your button. It will explain why you are asking them to boycott pink products and what they can do instead to help women with breast cancer.

The buttons will be pink (yes, pink. It’s the "fight fire with fire" principle) and say “Boycott October,” and then in smaller type: “Don’t buy pink products. Don’t exploit women with breast cancer.”

The buttons will be mailed out in September 2007.

Boycott October Press Release

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
October 31, 2006

For further information:
Tina Christiansen
tina@writeasrain.com

or:

Jeanne Sather
jeanne.sather@gmail.com

Seattle Blogger Calls for a Boycott of Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Seattle Writer Living With Cancer Feels Exploited by Marketing Campaign

SEATTLE — Oct. 31, 2006 — With the end of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, local blogger and cancer patient Jeanne Sather says she will be glad to see the end of the sea of pink.

"Boycott October," Sather says in a recent blog post at www.assertivepatient.com. "Most of the women I know who are living with breast cancer dislike the whole pink ribbon thing. Some are extremely distressed by the pink marketing effort and even by Breast Cancer Awareness Month."

Sather, who was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1998, has been writing about pink topics this month as part of her crusade against turning breast cancer into a marketing gimmick. According to Sather, retailers jump on the pink marketing bandwagon by offering pink merchandise in October, then donate a tiny part of the proceeds to breast cancer programs.

"I have finally realized why the whole pink ribbon/pink marketing thing makes me so angry," she writes. "I feel exploited."

Her blog posts this month include "Breast Cancer Barbie," "Pink Soup" and "The Pink for October” campaign.

As a journalist and an outspoken advocate for the cancer patient's point of view, Sather first wrote about pink ribbons two years ago, in "Gag Me With a Pink Ribbon," launching her crusade against what she calls the Pinking of October.

"If you want to support people with cancer, forget the ribbon and lobby for national health insurance," she wrote in 2004. "Or for a state health insurance plan that is open to everyone, rich and poor, sick and well."

As part of her “Boycott October” campaign, Sather will send a free button to anyone who asks for it. The button (which will be pink) will say: “Boycott October,” and in smaller type, “Don’t buy pink products, Don’t exploit women with breast cancer.” To receive a button, which will be shipped next September, e-mail Sather at jeanne.sather@gmail.com

For more commentary on boycotting Breast Cancer Awareness month, go to the October posts at The Assertive Cancer Patient. (http://www.assertivepatient.com/2006/10/boycott_october.html)

Sather plans to spend next October hiking the centuries-old pilgrim trail on the Japanese island of Shikoku.

Jeanne Sather has written about how to avoid medical mistakes, taking part in clinical trials, living with incurable cancer, how to help when a friend has cancer and much more. Sather began her career as a journalist, working for newspapers, magazines and wire services, including Newsweek in Tokyo, Reuters in Seattle, MSN (also in Seattle) and a number of other publications.

When she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1998 at age 43, she started writing about cancer for the Web site OnHealth.com, which later fired her while in cancer treatment. That story made national headlines.

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Boycott October

I have finally realized why the whole pink ribbon/pink marketing thing makes me so angry: I feel exploited.

When I first wrote about pink ribbons two years ago, I said, “Instead of pink ribbons, I'd rather have national health insurance or any health insurance plan that insures SICK people. The way things are now, if you are young and healthy, you can get health insurance at a reasonable cost. If you are old or, God forbid, sick, forget it.

"If you want to support people with cancer, forget the ribbon and lobby for national health care. Or for a state health insurance plan that is open to everyone, rich and poor, sick and well.”

I also did the math for a number of pink products, including pink M&Ms, and calculated how little actually went to breast cancer causes.

This month I’ve been blogging about a number of pink topics, including Breast Cancer Barbie, pink soup, and the Pink for October campaign.

In the responses I’ve gotten, I’ve realized that most (not all, but most) of the people who support the “pinking of October” are people whose lives have been affected by breast cancer because a relative or friend had the disease. But they do not have breast cancer themselves.

Most of the women I know who are living with breast cancer dislike the whole pink ribbon thing. Some are extremely distressed by the pink marketing effort and even by Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

My friend Jill Cohen writes in her blog,
“Do me a favor: if you want to support breast cancer research, advocacy, or related issues, DON'T BUY PINK. The few dollars or even pennies donated per item can't provide enough funding to help in a big way. Women with breast cancer would be better off if you simply made a donation to an appropriate charity.”

Then Jill lists some suggestions if you do want to help, including making donations to breast cancer research, education, early detection, patient support, and advocacy.

She concludes, “But don't buy pink for me. It doesn't help.”

And this is from a woman who understands cause marketing. Jill was the manager of the Northwest AIDS Walk at the time she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1999.

And, as I mentioned, October causes a lot of anxiety and distress for some breast cancer survivors. "If someone gives me a pink ribbon, I want to cry," one survivor wrote on a bulletin board.

Boycott
I have decided that next October I will not be home to be bombarded by ads for pink products purporting to help me—pink toilet paper and pink TicTacs, Breast Cancer Barbie and pink Campbell’s soup. Nor will I be available to read lame stories about breast cancer and what it takes to survive (a winning laugh, according to one Seattle newspaper columnist). Read The 'Undaunted' Die Too.

I will be on a pilgrimage on the island of Shikoku in Japan, hiking from temple to temple, far away from TV, newspapers, magazines, and advertising in all its forms. I will even leave my beloved laptop at home.

Before I go, however, I plan to organize a boycott.

I’m calling it “Boycott October.”

I will be making pink (yes, pink. It’s the "fight fire with fire" principle) buttons that say “Boycott October,” and then in smaller type: “Don’t buy pink products. Don’t exploit women with breast cancer.”

I will send a button, absolutely free, to anyone who e-mails me and asks for it. I will also send you a flier that you can copy and hand out to anyone who asks about your button. It will explain why you are asking them to boycott pink products.

It is women who control the disposable income in this country. Put your financial power to work and end the exploitation of women with breast cancer.

If you e-mail me your address now, I will put you on the mailing list to receive a button next September. And I pledge not to use this list for any other purpose or to sell it to any other organization or charity (since I am neither an organization nor a charity, just a writer with breast cancer).

@ Jeanne Sather 2006

Pink for October, Take 2

There were seven replies to my post on the Pink for October site, all of them supporting the pink ribbons. But NOT ONE of the comments is from a woman with breast cancer.

Some were from people who had had a grandmother or other relative die of breast cancer, and they said they supported the "pinking of October" for that reason. While they have my sympathy, and I understand their sadness and grief, I repeat, not one woman who is now living with breast cancer, or even a survivor, wrote in to say that she buys pink ribbon merchandise or that she feels supported or comforted by it.

The women I know who are living with breast cancer say otherwise.

One woman started a thread on the Young Survival Coalition Web site's bulletin board asking for suggestions on how to stay positive during October.

This woman, a breast cancer survivor, was DREADING Breast Cancer Awareness Month. She wrote, in part, "...Am I the only one dreading the fact that October has 31 days? Any tips on how I can stay positive and be OK with the fact that I am indeed a breast cancer survivor? ... If someone gives me a pink ribbon, I want to cry."

And a number of people who posted comments said that if I had known anyone who had breast cancer I would feel differently about pink ribbons and other pink efforts. They apparently didn't realize my situation:

I was first diagnosed with breast cancer eight years ago, and it metastasized to my bones almost five years ago. I have been in continuous treatment for most of these eight years and I will continue in cancer treatment until I die. And I hate pink ribbons and the whole pinking of October. I get no comfort from this. I get no feeling of emotional support from this.

Rather, I feel exploited by companies that are making money off pink products. And I am not alone in feeling this way, check out any of the breast cancer support bulletin boards.

Enough--next year I am going to be out of the reach of all things pink during the month of October.

Read The 'Undaunted' Die Too to find out why.

@ Jeanne Sather 2006

The ‘Undaunted’ Die Too

I e-mailed the following to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer at 1:10 a.m. this morning. I guess I was angry. I know I couldn't sleep.

I have just resolved to spend October 2007 (when Breast Cancer Awareness Month rolls around again) cruising the Nile, hiking the pilgrim trail on the Japanese island of Shikoku, or camping out in a cave in the Cascades—anything to avoid having to read more drivel like Susan Paynter served up in this morning’s (October 25) column on breast cancer.

The worst sentence in the entire column, in my opinion, was this comment about a friend of Paynter's who had recently returned to work after cancer treatment: “But I know from her eyes and her laugh that she’s going to make it.”

No, Susan, you don’t know that she is going to make it. (If by “make it” you mean survive her cancer and live many years without a recurrence.) Her doctor doesn’t know if she is “going to make it”—no one does.

What you mean, I imagine, is that you HOPE she is going to make it.

But what if she doesn’t? What if her cancer comes back? What if it kills her? Will that be her fault?

I ask these questions because that idea is implied, if not quite stated, in another phrase Paynter uses to describe her friend: “a battle-worn but undaunted survivor of the cancer wars.” And I ask again, does her friend deserve to survive because she faced her cancer with such a great attitude? And would she deserve to die if she had been “daunted” by her cancer? If her attitude had been less courageous—if she had whined, complained, or thrown plates?

If courage, humor, a great attitude, love of life, and a generous spirit were enough to conquer breast cancer, then Surain af Sandeberg would not have died in 2002. Jill Bennett would not have died in 2004. And Dana Sigley would not have died this past May.

But those character traits are not enough. And we do a disservice to women like these when we imply, as Susan Paynter did, that a great attitude will conquer breast cancer.

In the last months of their lives, Surain, Jill and Dana showed me and many other women who are living with cancer how to face death. Not by being undaunted heroes, but by being human.

Read Susan Paynter's column

Read about Surain af Sandeberg

Read Jill Bennett's obituary

Read Dana Sigley's obituary

Pink for October

I took the battle over pink to the Pink for October blog, which is one very nice guy named Matthew, who posted my anti-pink rant front and center on the blog today. To read it, see Pink for October.

Pink for October's goal to to convince as many Web sites as possible to "go pink" to promote National Breast Cancer Awareness month and raise money for breast cancer research.

So far, 500 Web sites and blogs gone pink, according to the site. While I see going pink as a distraction from the real issues, I can't fault Matthew's intentions.

Why Be an Assertive Cancer Patient?

There are at least three good reasons to be an assertive cancer patient:
* You will get better care.
* You will probably live longer.
* You will feel better about yourself and your illness.

This Blog Is for You
There is nothing like being stripped of your own clothing (and identity) and dressed in a backless cotton hospital gown to make the most self-confident among us feel like children. Suddenly, we find ourselves embarrassingly dependent on our doctors and their opinions of us.

Even people who are comfortably assertive in various aspects of daily life typically do not bring this same assertive style with them into a medical setting. There are a number of reasons for this, including the strong emotions that come with the diagnosis of a serious, potentially life-threatening illness, and our socialization to be “good patients.” In addition, the medical world is an alien culture for most of us, with its own language, hierarchy, and rules--one that takes some getting used to.

I am writing this blog to help people with cancer who, like me, realize that if there was ever a time to be assertive, it is when faced with cancer. Even if you are mostly positive and self-confident, you will probably find these skills deserting you when you enter a doctor’s office.

Many people who do NOT see themselves as assertive will realize that they need these skills when faced with a cancer diagnosis. Being assertive does not mean you are brash or demanding, and it certainly doesn’t mean you are rude or aggressive. Rather, it means that you are calm, positive, and in control of your life and your health.

Whether you are newly diagnosed or have been living with cancer for some time, I hope this blog will help you take the best possible care of yourself and get the best possible care from your health-care team as well.

Read more:

You Will Get Better Care

You Will Probably Live Longer

You Will Feel Better About Yourself and Your Illness

@ Jeanne Sather 2006

You Will Get Better Care

One reason you will get better care is the squeaky-wheel principle. If you speak up clearly about how you really feel and what is going on in your life, with your cancer and life in general, your needs are more likely to be heard and met.

Many of us are so conditioned to respond, “Fine,” when asked how we are, that we carry this over into appointments with an oncologist. But this is not the time for a stiff upper lip. Tell your doctor how you feel, physically, mentally, and emotionally. In addition, if you learn to actively manage your symptoms, by noticing and keeping track of them, you can give your doctor more accurate feedback that will help the doctor help you.

You will also get better care by being sharp enough to watch for medical mistakes and to speak up when something about your care doesn’t seem right. (See Medical Mistakes.)

@ Jeanne Sather 2006

You Will Probably Live Longer

Longer than what, you might ask?

I don’t want to overstate this, but there is evidence that assertive people who have cancer live longer than cancer patients with other personality types--for example, people who are passive or fatalistic about their disease.

Researchers don’t understand all the whys and hows of this yet, but it seems to be true.

I know a number of people with cancer who have lived much longer than the prognoses they were given by their doctors. These are positive people who have a talent for finding joy and meaning in life, even when facing a life-threatening illness.

Not only do they do everything they can to survive, but they do everything they can to live in the present moment and enjoy life, knowing that there are no guarantees for anyone. Also, typically, these are people who keep busy helping others and giving back in some way, even while they are living with cancer themselves.

This doesn’t mean putting on a falsely happy face or depleting your resources by taking care of others while ignoring your own needs. It does mean taking charge where you can and living with purpose.

@ Jeanne Sather 2006

You Will Feel Better About Yourself and Your Illness

We all hate feeling powerless. We hate feeling like we are not in control.

And yet one of the first overwhelming emotions that many of us experience when we are told we have cancer is a feeling of powerlessness. One way to dispel that feeling is to take control when and where you can. (It also helps to learn to "let go" in situations where you have no control, sometimes a harder lesson.)

In addition, if you stand up for yourself you will enjoy a better quality of life while you are in cancer treatment—regardless of the medical outcome of your treatment. You will be happier, and you will feel more in control of your life, when you speak up for yourself and when you know you are being heard and your wishes are considered important.

Choosing a doctor and a medical team who listen to you and treat you with respect can contribute enormously to your quality of life. It takes assertiveness to find the right team for you and to establish the type of relationship you want with them. I've just recently had to choose a new doctor, when my medical oncologist of eight years moved to Arizona, so I know what I'm talking about. It was an incredibly tough experience, and I'll be writing about it soon.

@ Jeanne Sather 2006